Saturday, August 20, 2011

Next Steps

This past week was pre-planning for teachers, and in my new, moving-into-the-future-that-is-now role of "21st century learning specialist" I was given 2 hours on Tuesday to present "Next Steps." My presentation followed Silvia's one hour, "Curriculum 21- A Deeper Cut."
View more presentations from edtechworkshop
Reflection:
I really like presenting. Although it is a ton of work to think through what I want to share, organize it and create the slides, I find it really satisfying. I also think I'm kind of good at it, and it comes somewhat naturally (after the tons of work and preparation). I'm a talker, a storyteller.
My audience seemed, for the most part, engaged, interested, respectful. I really appreciated their attentiveness. Afterwards, I got a lot of positive feedback, which felt gratifying. My favorite comment was from our MS social studies teacher who said that my presentation was like 21st century therapy. I took that as a compliment.

What I would like to do better (my own "next steps") is to work toward being more of a conversation facilitator and less of a presenter.
Who really likes to sit and listen for 3 hours? My presentation was supposed to be shorter, with time afterwards for teachers to reflect on the prompt in the final slide, "What is your next step?" or another topic from either of the presentations, but both of us went a little long, and we ended up taking the whole three hours to present (with a little break in between).

When I present, I feel like there is so much to say. I definitely do my homework, in terms of preparation (including pre-presentation insomnia where I lie in bed while my mind races and reviews my slides, thinking of all the things I might say). However, if I learned anything at all from Educon, it is that active learning is better than passively listening to a presenter, no matter how entertaining and engaging. I remember in Chris Lehmann's really inspiring session about leadership, 2 Educon's ago, how he threw out ideas, had everyone discuss, and then brought it all back together so that the group could move to the next idea. Like a magician. In reviewing my notes from that session, I wrote " The ability to have these conversations and come to common ground requires a good leader. Get to common ground and then move on."
"Conversation leadership" - it sounds a lot like teaching...

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

We Are Not Alone...The Power of the Network

In my role as one of our school's two 21st century learning specialists, I am tasked with presenting a 2- hour professional development session for teachers on the 2nd day of our pre-planning week. If you know teachers during back-to-school time, you know that they can be a bit of a tough crowd during this week when they have so much to do setting up classrooms and preparing for students.

I really want to make those 2 hours meaningful, inspiring and totally worth the time spent away from the work that needs to be done in the classrooms. I love the idea of opening up with a TED Talk to get people feeling inspired. At our PD day in January, I opened with Adora Svitak's fabulous TED Talk "What Adults Can Learn from Kids." It was well-received and generated some excitement and fun discussion.

But this post isn't about which TED Talk I'm going to choose. Nope. This post is about what happened when I did what I usually do when planning any type of instruction these days. I ask my trusted network.

I have truly, completely, totally embraced the "together we are smarter" idea to the point where I don't even try to think alone anymore. When it comes to TED, even if I watched one TED talk every single day, it would take several years to watch them all! (When I got my ipad and downloaded the TED app, I did intend to watch one talk a day, but you know how those things go...) So, naturally I turned to my network on Twitter.

The tweet was re-tweeted by Rachel Abrahams and between my tweet and her re-tweet, I received a handful of responses (newest on top).




Since I've already seen Sir Ken Robinson's TED talks "Schools Kill Creativity" and "Bring on the Learning Revolution", as well as Alan November's TEDxNYED talk, I started by watching Itay Talgam's brilliant, "Lead Like the Great Conductors." My husband and I both really enjoyed it. Next I watched Julian Treasure's "5 Ways to Listen Better."

This was on Sunday morning, and just watching those two talks took almost 30 minutes. That was all the time I had to indulge in the pleasure of watching TED Talks (although it WAS for work!). A little later in the day, I looked at Facebook and saw that TED had posted my question on their Facebook page.



It was amazing....and at the same time overwhelming! I could barely watch two TED Talks. I skimmed the FB comments (LOTS of votes for Sir Ken Robinson), but I couldn't even read all those comments!!

Then tonight, Tuesday, I saw this tweet:




There is so much to this. First of all, I now have the opinions of over 1000 TEDTalk watchers. TED writer/editor Ben Lillie went through the freeform comments and tallied the results. Seems that Sir Ken is the favorite by a mile, but I have a great list of the top 14 vote-getters to watch, many of which I haven't yet seen. And that is doable.
Besides that, I have a good story to share! This is a terrific example of the power of networking- what we're working to bring to our school.
Collaboration. Social learning. Content curation. Filtering. Connecting.
Ideas worth spreading.
Thanks for the help everyone.

PS- After speaking with my partner, Silvia Tolisano this morning, and connecting what I'm doing with what she's bringing, we have decided to open with the Alan November talk. It really speaks to what we are going to be doing this year with our 21st century learning program.... which involves, among other things, having our students write and present their own TED Talks. There are so many incredible thinkers; it's really an uplifting change from watching the network news shows' tales of gloom and doom. I challenge myself to revisit my intention to watch one TED talk a day!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

"I Am" Poetry

I love these poems our 6th graders wrote the other day using PicLits. We used "freestyle" mode. The directions were to find an image and finish the sentence starters to complete the poem. It was sort of a "one-off," meaning that I don't usually work with this class and only had the one class with them, so we didn't have time to revise or even for them to share their poems with each other. Keeping that in mind, I think they are pretty expressive.

by Aaron

by Avichai


by Joey

by Julia


by Rachel


by Ryan


Monday, April 11, 2011

Brand, Un-brand, Re-brand

Companies do it all the time. They change their logo, their website, the look of their packaging. Sometimes we, the "audience," respond positively. Sometimes (think New Coke vs. Coke Classic) we do not. I have always been of the "if it isn't broke, don't fix it" mindset, but I am questioning the 21st-century-ness of that attitude. To go mucking about, changing things just for the sake of trying something that might or might not "work out" when status quo was, well...comfortable enough... is a risky proposition.
Changing something that is not really "broken" could be:
(a) a waste of time and energy
(b) a complete and total failure
(c) a fabulous success
(d) a learning experience

What if we reframed our ideas about concepts like "waste of time," "failure," and "success?" What if we decided that (d) a learning experience = (d) all of the above?
How would that impact the way we work? How would it impact the way we teach?

I think this is one of the core values of what we often refer to as "21st century learning." In an ideas and innovation-based economy, we don't thrive on "it's not broke." This is a big shift for me. Change makes me nervous. I feel most comfortable when things seem stable. People like me don't invent wonderful, crazy new things; we make do with what we have.

These thoughts are arising as I ponder the future of my personal brand. Believe me, I am aware that "edtechworkshop" isn't anything earth-shatteringly interesting as far as teacher-brands go. However, I have been blogging for over three years now. I have subscribers, and I fear "losing" them were I to move my site. (Yes, even as I write it, I realize how silly this is.) This feeling of wanting to "hold on" to something, even as I realize the total pointlessness of it (like holding onto life itself) is what keeps me from feeling free to experiment, reinvent myself and play around. In other words, it limits my ability to learn and grow.

According to personal-branding guru, Dan Schawbel, your online presence will replace your resume in 10 years. I disagree with his assessment that it will take ten more years. I think that for the best jobs, the most sought-after positions, a strong online presence is already more important than a resume. Think about it. Where do we go to find things? Where do we go, more and more, to find people? We go to google. And if you're not google-able, you won't be found.


Wednesday, April 6, 2011

The Garden of Tweetin'

I was asked to "intro twitter" for my cousin and her friend. I've been meaning to write a twitter blog post for a while now, so I thought I would gather some favorite resources and share a few thoughts.

Here is a helpful intro for educators from Langwitches Blog: So, What About This Twitter Thing?

Beyond the most basic intro, to really "do twitter" you have to just go ahead and do it. Twitter is a garden of sorts. To plant a garden, at some point, you have to get in there and get your hands dirty. There's no "right way/wrong way"...there is just your way which you can only figure out by figuring it out. You can read guidebooks, ask an expert, learn from your mistakes... eventually you come to realize that, with attention and care, you have gardened your way to a decent little patch that makes YOU happy.

But that doesn't mean that MY garden- with it's marigolds and tomatoes, usually in need of weeding- would be the right garden for YOU. For example, if you were planting a vegetable garden, you would be likely to choose vegetables that would be useful and valuable to you and your family. It's the same with your twitter garden. The power of twitter lies in the opportunity to build a useful and valuable network, of like-minded (or different-minded) interesting people. My twitter network consists mainly of educators. Many educators on twitter use the term PLN- personal learning network and use twitter for their own lifelong learning.


I'll happily share with you how I manage twitter today (which might change tomorrow or next week). I currently like Tweetdeck for these reasons:

-I like to be able to view multiple columns showing different streams. It's easy to add and change them, too.

-I like the "edit then retweet" capability which the web RT doesn't offer.

-I tweet from multiple accounts, and that is very easy to do in Tweetdeck where I can be logged-in as more than one tweeter. (I have also tripped myself up this way by tweeting from the wrong account. Oops!)


Just in case you were wondering, what I don't like about Tweetdeck is the newer "deck.ly" feature which lets you go over 140 characters. It just doesn't sit right with me- the whole genre of twitter is 140 characters or less. I have disabled it on my Tweetdeck. Go to "settings" and uncheck "Use Deck.ly for sending long updates."


A few more thoughts:

•Filtering the mad, mad world of too-much-information is a high art. Again, everyone does it differently BUT (since you asked my opinion)- don't habitually re-tweet articles you haven't read or at least skimmed. Being a good filter, and only sharing what you think is truly worthwhile and relevant builds your credibility.


•Follow celebrities if it makes you happy and adds something to your twitter stream, but that's not really the "twitter thing." Twitter is about having lots of different interesting people to talk to and listen to. Choose who you follow thoughtfully, just as you would decide what to plant in your garden. For more on this idea, read this great post, "Curating People" by self-proclaimed "mayor of the internet" ijohnpederson.

Because I know you really want to know, these are the celebrities I follow (at least right now)-

Dr. Wayne Dyer

Sir Ken Robinson

The Dalai Lama

Dan Millman (author of The Way of the Peaceful Warrior)

None of them follow me back. They also don't tweet much and, most likely, someone else tweets for them anyway.


•Be yourself. If it's interesting to you, share it. Follow real people who interest you, and add something to the conversation. Give and take.


One last analogy :) -- Think of twitter as a giant cocktail party. Who do you choose to talk to? The spammer who is just there to sell something or get you to join an MLM scheme? The self-promoter who talks incessantly about herself? The person who has nothing original to say and only repeats what he has just heard someone else say? Or the interesting person who listens and adds something intelligent to the mix? Be that person.


Great minds must think alike. Just after I wrote this, Silvia Tolisano shared with me a new presentation she created on personal learning networks, also using the idea of the garden as a point of reference.


Monday, March 28, 2011

Portfolios-- A "Digital Can of Worms?"

I love home improvement shows. The homeowners decide on a fabulous renovation to turn their house into the house of their dreams. They work with a contractor and make a plan. But once they actually begin the process of tearing down walls they discover a problem- mold, termites, whatever. The problems are such that there can be no continuing with the planned renovation until the newly-uncovered dilemma is solved.

This is the perfect analogy for my experience this year piloting digital portfolios in grades K, 5 and 8. There is no possible way that I, or anyone, could have foreseen all of the questions and conundrums that would arise. Some were easily solved; others have required more research and development. Some were straight out of left field. I've taken to referring to the whole thing as a digital can of worms.


It's been an interesting journey so far, and I have been remiss in taking the time to reflect and share. How ironic that I can't seem to find the time to reflect on this process of becoming more reflective with students.

First of all, I feel like a pioneer. Maybe I am just not looking in the right places or asking the right people, but I am not finding a lot of teachers who are actually using digital portfolios with students. I have had a google alert set up for both "digital portfolios" and "eportfolios." My hope was to find examples of student portfolios and get ideas. While these alerts fill my reader, very few of them yield anything helpful. The examples I find are, by and large, created by adults. The few portfolios from younger students often look like they were started and then quickly abandoned. And I am starting to understand why.
I have also found several examples of "digital portfolios" that seem to be just exercises in using a blog or wiki for students to post work. There is no reflection on the work itself nor does there seem to be any attempt to select the student's best work. The space is more of a repository, and I wonder a bit about the thought behind the assignment of the portfolio. Even in these cases, it is usually high school and college age students.

Several times I have participated in #edchat on twitter. I figure that is a good place to find fellow educators who are also dipping their toes into the portfolio pool. Nada. When I ask about portfolios on twitter, I generally hear crickets....occasionally I get a retweet of my question or a teacher who says they are interested in using portfolios "next year." I started a digital portfolios group on the Curriculum 21 ning, again thinking that would be a relatively fertile place to mine for those who had information to share. The group has 39 members, which is very encouraging, but little hard data, portfolio samples or even detailed conversations. Again, it seems to be a case of people who are interested in getting started in the near future.

I hear a lot of talk about portfolios. I can only assume that there are people using them with students, but I haven't hit upon the right group. I am going to draw the conclusion, for now, that I am one of relatively few at these grade levels who is actively working with portfolios, and that I have quite a bit of helpful information to share for all those interested teachers. Maybe I can save them some of the difficulties for which I was unprepared.
I am not sure how best to share though....do I simply state my conclusions, and skip over the "can of worms" or do I detail the whole messy path that led me to this point? I know that, personally, I like to know the reasons behind decisions, but I don't know if it's superfluous.
Consider this the introduction with more information to follow. If you are interested in seeing some sample portfolios from my students, here is a link to a kindergarten portfolio. Here are links to some 8th grade portfolios (any of these students would be very excited to receive a comment on their portfolio):

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

My Life as a Reader

A few years ago, my father presented me with a very special gift. He had searched painstakingly, calling a number of used bookstores, to find a copy of The Big Tidy Up, the first book I ever "read" all by myself.
I still remember the opening lines:
"Jennifer knew as well as you
that everything has its place.
But she just didn't care a whit, a bit
So her room was a real disgrace."

I memorized the entire book at age 3 and from that moment on, was an incredibly avid reader.

My favorite outing as a child was to the public library. I could have spent all day, every day, wandering amongst the shelves. I would pick out a book, open it, and get lost. I would take home huge stacks of books and immediately dive in. I loved the Bobbsey Twins and the Nancy Drew series. My parents made rules. For example, I was not allowed to read at the dinner table. I was not supposed to read while walking.

Now, many years later, I am a teacher and mother. There were several reasons I chose to become a teacher; one of them was based in my love of reading. I love to share books and reading with children. As a 4th/5th grade classroom teacher, I read aloud to my students almost every day. As a mother of a 10-year old daughter and a 7 year-old son, I read aloud to my children almost every night before bed. I have even started reading aloud to my husband. The bookstore and the library are still two of my favorite places.
I attribute most of my academic success to reading. It was through reading that I really learned to write, spell, and love stories. Through reading I have improved my vocabulary and increased my knowledge about the world. Through reading I have learned about history, psychology and myself. Through reading I traveled to places and times, inhabited the minds of characters I might never get to meet.
I once had the pleasure of hearing Kurt Vonnegut speak. One thing he said that really made an impression was "Reading is meditating with someone else's mind."
I guess I really like getting into the minds and thoughts, imaginations and ideas of others.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Bats from A to Z

Note: This blog post was written by the 2nd graders. One of my goals for working with classes this year is to have the students reflect and share after completion of a project. They posted it on their class blog, however, that blog does not allow for comments from non-registered users. They would really love to receive comments, so please share with other teachers and students and let our 2nd graders know what you think of their work.

by Mrs. B's 2nd grade

It all started with a story. We read "Fast Food on the Fly," a story about bats, in our Wordly Wise book. We were so interested that we decided to write reports about different kinds of bats. We each chose our own bat, and they were all from Australia. We used the computers to research our bats, and we made a bat cave in the hallway where we displayed our reports.



We decided to create an ABC video to give people information about bats. Mrs. B and Ms. H showed us an example. Then we took a bat quiz. Next, we worked with a partner to brainstorm ideas using the alphabet organizer. We printed out the organizers with all of our ideas. Some letters were easier than others so we had to do more research to come up with a fact for each letter.


Once we decided the best fact for each letter and assigned the letters we used Pixie to write and illustrate our ideas. We went over them and checked to make sure they were correct and looked good. Then we recorded ourselves reading our facts. Finally, we published our video, and we are so excited to share it with you!


Some Reflections:

Reflection pyramid from Peter Pappas

Ayden: We met our goal by finishing the video and teaching everyone about bats. I learned facts about bats that a lot of grown-ups don't know.
Elad: I did this before when we did the values report because I had to look in a book. I can use this again when I do another report or project.
Eliana: It was important that we taught people new information about bats. I learned to work together without arguing.
Griff: I see a relationship with this project and the president reports because we had to research on the computer for both. In both of them we were teaching people. I feel that I learned a lot about bats. I see that there is so much I didn't know about bats.
Jona: Our class did really well. We edited and revised it. We had to take our time in order to make it really good. We used the computer and used typing skills. I learned more about bats and I liked using technology.
Natan: We worked well together.
Mrs. B: I was very pleased to see the growth from our very first project, the fire safety and prevention video, to this project. I think you are going to be very prepared for 3rd grade.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Dear Thinkquest

Dear Thinkquest,
I appreciate the opportunity to enter your international competition with my students. My 7th grade students have defined a problem and begun working on their project.
I wonder how upset they will be with me if we are unable to actually enter their project in the competition because I am unable to actually enroll our team. The problem seems to lie in the fact that our school does have a Thinkquest Projects account, (for which I am the administrator). Our "signing authority" is our former principal, who not only no longer works at the school, but no longer retains her school email address. Although I requested changing the signing authority on February 3rd, that request is still "pending." My application to coach a team is also pending the approval of the incommunicado ex-principal.

Silly me. I thought I could easily get help for this easy-enough-to-explain problem (surely other people have had a principal leave and had to request a new signing authority) by using your contact links on the website. To date I have sent 5 requests, via your website as well as directly by email. I did receive a response to two of my emails saying that I should have a response within 48 hours. That was over a week ago.

And then yesterday I received this email from "support@thinkquest.com":

Dear ThinkQuest Coach,

We noticed you enrolled in the ThinkQuest International Competition 2011, but have not yet enrolled any teams.

Enrolling a team is easy! Just follow these steps:

  1. Log in to your ThinkQuest account.
  2. Click the "Competition" tab.
  3. Click the "Enroll a Team" button.
  4. You can come back and edit your team later if any information changes.

As a bonus, you will be entered in the Coach Sweepstakes when you enroll your first team. Each month, one lucky coach will receive an Apple® iPad™ 16GB.

For additional assistance with team enrollment, visit Online Help.

Kind regards,
Oracle Education Foundation


Um... thank you for your concern and offer of additional assistance? Really?


Sunday, March 6, 2011

The Flat Classroom- Are We Really Ready?

Global Learning=Good
Global collaboration, global awareness, global connections.... these are some of the exciting possibilities of technology in education. Having students learn about, with and from their peers around the world has inspired some amazing projects like the Flat Classroom project and Around the World with 80 Schools. I believe in the power of education to build a more tolerant and peaceful world.
Last year, middle school students at our Jewish Day School had some amazing skype calls with students from Muslim schools. They compared prayer books and each group showed the other how they prayed. Afterwards, our students reflected in writing. Here is what one 7th grader wrote about that experience:
Interestingly, we discovered that Muslim and Jewish beliefs are very similar in certain
ways. We both have certain times to pray, traditional articles of clothing, forbidden foods, as well as so much more.

It is important to learn about other religions, to realize the similarities between all cultures around the world. We have to set aside our differences and look at the ways that we are all alike... Hopefully, one friendly interaction at a time, more and more people will begin to realize the similarities connecting people around the world.


The Project
When I heard, recently, about a project for students from around the world who speak both English and another language, I thought it was a good fit since our school has a dual-language program, English and Hebrew. The project organizer is a world language teacher in an English-speaking country who I feel I "know" in that twitter/blogger way and whose work I respect. The project uses food as a theme- sharing our foods and our languages. Liat, our fourth grade Hebrew teacher, agreed to work with me; the students were interested as well.

Clusters
Let me make it clear that, while I have joined many of these projects, I have never organized one. I try to be a helpful participant, to stay on top of things and to contribute meaningfully, but I can only imagine the work that goes into actually organizing it. The organizer of this project decided that it would be more manageable to group schools into smaller clusters to allow for more extensive contact. Our school was "clustered" with one school in Australia and a second school in an Arabic nation. I was very excited to be partnered with the Arabic school. Because I believe that, through these types of projects we can teach peace by accentuating how much we are alike and by planting the seeds of understanding, I thought that having our school partnered with this school represented a unique opportunity.

As I have stated, our school is a Jewish school with an English-Hebrew curriculum. We have strong ties to Israel- the Israeli flag flies alongside the American flag, students sing the Hatikvah (Israeli national anthem) every morning, many of our teachers are Israeli.

It is widely known that there is a history of conflict and violence between Israel and its Arabic neighbors. It is truly a horrible situation that exists between these countries, and I can not claim to be an unbiased observer. Still I felt excited that our two classes might have an opportunity to talk about lunch and languages as part of a friendly school project.
It was not to be. Almost immediately after the cluster groupings were shared, I received another email saying that there was to be a change. That change was to separate our school from the Arabic-speaking school. I was disappointed but not surprised.

And then...
As part of the project, each school was to contribute a slide that showed a picture of a "typical" lunch in your country, as well as the name of the country written in your two languages. Here is the slide we shared:

Pretty benign, right? A PBJ sandwich with some cheese puffs- a typical lunch for kids at our school. It was interesting for our students to hear the comments as other schools reacted to our slide- they liked the sandwich, they didn't like the sandwich, the lunch looked unhealthy, etc.
In the course of sharing information about our school and viewing the media shared by the other schools, we visited the wiki page of the Arabic school. First we looked at pictures and video showing typical food from their country, which is located in the same part of the world as Israel. Liat, who is Israeli, pointed out the similarities between their food and Israeli food (more alike than different?) Then we watched an adorable video of the students reacting to the slideshow. Liat and I both noticed that all of the slides were shown except for the one from our school.
I had not reacted when our clusters were changed, but now I was upset. The teacher would not even allow her students to view the slide from our school? I felt that to purposely ignore one school went against one of the main goals of the project- cultural awareness.

Naive
I emailed the project organizer to share my feelings.
Today we watched the "reaction to the lunches" video from the school in ___, where they showed every slide except for the one we uploaded, which had some writing in Hebrew. What is the point of doing a "global awareness" project if not to promote tolerance, acceptance and eventually to teach the next generation that things like hatred and anti-semitism must be overcome?...I feel that no school in the project should be allowed to simply ignore another school because of language or culture. I am really upset by this... How do you teach 9-10 year olds that people in the world hate Jews so much that the adults will not allow the children to look at a slide that has Hebrew writing on it?

The resulting email conversation really opened my eyes and made me realize how sheltered and naive I am. This is from the teacher in the Arabic-speaking school (from an email she sent to the project organizer):
I do believe that we are really one world and one heart, no matter where we come from or what our religion is...We can't make any relation with Israel no matter what the relation is. It will be dangerous for me and for my family...I feel sorry not being able to communicate with her...but this is the situation in our country.
I can not imagine putting myself and my family in danger through my participation in a project, no matter what countries were involved. From my comfortable vantage point here in the US, I have been able to shelter myself from some truths about the world. I allowed myself to believe that all you need are good intentions, that individuals connecting could eventually change the world. I still believe in education and friendships, learning about others, tolerance and global awareness. I just feel incredibly naive and incredibly grateful that I live in a place where I am able to have such naivete. I am not the only one. From the project organizer (who lives on another continent):

When I made up those clusters I had no idea that having your two schools together would be a problem. When ___first emailed me I immediately thought that I should have been more aware and perhaps not put your two schools in the same group to begin with which is why I was so quick to change the groups...it is not a situation I am very familiar with...

Here is another point-of-view, from the Rabbi who is associated with our school:
Given the political climate in ______, this teacher may be justifiably fearful (as I’m sure that there would have been German teachers in the 30s). That being said, if the [project] folk can rationalize the discrimination (after all, this is not our school issuing Israeli political propaganda, but simply existing and being itself), it does quite the opposite of promoting co-existence. Participants in______ can’t have it both ways – global understanding . . . except for those whose right to exist we won’t acknowledge.
I find all of these reactions understandable and also confusing. I understand the emotions of fear, anger, denial and regret. I understand being unfamiliar with certain parts of the world and their problems. I don't understand what to do with it all.
Never would I want to put another teacher or her family at risk. Nor do I want my students to learn firsthand, through a school project, about hatred, discrimination, anti-semitism/anti-Israel or that the world can be a confusing, conflicted and violent place. It is especially difficult when these harsh sentiments are directed at them, as Jews and supporters of Israel.

To be honest with myself, I am nervous about posting this. It feels like I'm stirring up some dust that might turn out to be poison. However, I feel hopeful that something good might still come of it.